Dear Alex by Clare London

Author:Clare London
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: gay romance, journalist, gay erotic romance, reunion romance, agony aunt
Publisher: Clare London

My mobile rang like some godforsaken fire alarm in my left ear. I grabbed for it, nearly falling out of bed, the room pitch dark around me.

“Alex?” It was Leila. “Alex, is Robbie there with you?”

I frowned, still trying to surface from a rather lurid dream where my skin was being flayed from my body, then pinned out to dry while a horde of small, sharp pens scribbled Dear Alex letters all over it. “Ah. No. Of course not. He’s away for the weekend, isn’t he?” I peered at the bedside clock. It was two a.m.

After Marty left, I’d just fallen back on the bed and tried to sleep. After an hour, I was still trying, lying on my back and fighting off the feelings of humiliation and horror. It was dark and silent in my room, with no one there to challenge me…but I was still lying to myself about so many things, wasn’t I?

“You were calling for him all the time…"

“Robbie this, Robbie fucking that…”

“I’m not really the bloke you’re after.”

It all came back to Robbie. He was in my thoughts all the time. Why the hell had it taken me so long to admit that to myself? When I thought back over the smart things I should have said to Bob/Brad, I could see myself delivering them to Robbie’s patient expression. When I imagined what I could have been doing with the pragmatic Marty, I kept imagining it with Robbie. I started each day waiting to see him at work, and I spent most evenings imagining him going to the same places I did. I created every month’s copy in memory of those early days when, in our naivety, we cobbled something together from almost nothing, fighting off the deadlines, wincing under Leila’s aggressive brand of management. We shared cheap takeaways, instant coffee, laughs and dreams. We’d shared a bed, too, but for not long enough. I remembered so well how sex had been with Robbie; his familiar grin, his half-nervous excitement, the soft cries he used to make when I touched him in bed.

Now I let myself remember how good it had been. I made myself taste the loneliness without him: I made myself hurt again at losing him. The sensations were still so vivid. It was cruelly plain how much I regretted letting it all go: how much I wanted to be with him again. How I kept searching for that comfort and satisfaction, but in all the wrong places.

It had taken another hour for me to drop off to sleep, exhausted with misery and confusion. And now here I was, being woken from the deepest sleep cycle by my splenetic boss.

“Alex? Where the fuck are you?” Leila’s voice shrieked in my ear.

I grimaced at the phone. “In my bed asleep. Why the fuck aren’t you?”

Leila laughed, a sharp, tinny sound down the line. “You’re not my type. But seriously, I just got a call from this bloke who says he’s worried about Robbie. They

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.